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Personal Statement Good vs Bad Examples

Know what you want to say - but struggle to phrase it? Our Good vs Bad guide compares examples of how to take your inspirations, key skills, research and enthusiasm and transform them into statements that will wow our Admissions team.

Showing Inspiration

Bad
When I was young I watched an episode of Holby City which inspired me to apply to become a paramedic...
Good
The first aid training I gained as a lifeguard has provided me with a basic level understanding of emergency first aid and a thirst to learn more…

Promoting Key Skills

Bad
My friends and family say I am a good communicator…
Good
Presenting my ideas and findings in a classroom environment has helped me develop strong verbal communication skills which I feel will be of benefit to the profession I am applying for…

Doing Research

Bad
I think being a paramedic sounds really exciting as I can’t ever imagine myself in a desk job…
Good
Meeting the lecturing team at the Open Day, I learnt more about what the course has to offer and found the lecture on mental health relevant to the needs of today’s society…

Adding Personality

Bad
I enjoy playing and watching football…
Good
Being part of the local football team allows me to learn the fundamentals of being a key member of a working team as well as exercise my personal passion…

Demonstrating Enthusiasm

Bad
I am the best candidate as I take personal pride in making sure my grade is the best in class; evidenced by me achieving 99% compared to a class average of 80%...
Good
I would like to put myself forward as a worthy candidate for this course, due to my commitment to learning and aspirations to achieve great things in future…
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